In August of 2020 during the covid pandemic I was working full-time as a Certified Nurse Midwife in a busy OB/GYN practice. I loved my job and planned to retire at age 65 in 2025 but a shocking diagnosis of stage 4b high grade ovarian cancer derailed my plans to continue working. I did not have any of the typical ovarian cancer signs or symptoms that usually include some kind of abdominal discomfort. The first thing I noticed was an enlarged lymph node above my left clavicle (Collarbone). I was initially treated for a possible tick bite (I’m outside a lot and love to hike) but as the days and weeks went by I noticed more and more enlarged lymph nodes in my upper left chest and neck. Keep in mind, I could have had an immediate ultrasound if myself or any of the other providers I worked with thought it could be

ovarian cancer—it NEVER occurred to me or anyone in my practice because I had no bloating, pelvic pain, feeling full after meals or constipation. I have no family history of any kind of cancer and the only risk factor I had was my age. I don’t think I had ever directly cared for a patient with ovarian cancer in my 40 years of caring for mostly pregnant women. In the 4-5 weeks it took to be diagnosed—I knew it was cancer but I thought it was lymphoma. I was actually at my primary care provider’s office when I received the news. I was so devastated I couldn’t even drive myself home—I was shattered and shocked. I had a debulking hysterectomy followed by the traditional chemo. My cancer has since recurred 3 times and I am currently on my 8th protocol. Some of the treatments have been terrible because of the need for blood transfusions/feeling like crap and some because of the debilitating eye problems which thankfully have mostly resolved. I had 5 weeks of radiation to my upper left chest area and for me the side effects from radiation were very mild. Probably the most difficult thing for me is living from one test to the next, knowing it will come back but praying I will get a break longer than 1 year. I was not able to return to the career I loved because of the ongoing covid pandemic (Seeing pregnant patients with covid and having my first recurrence at 8 months made it impossible). When I had my first recurrence, I remember crying to my provider “But my grandkids won’t remember me”. I can gratefully state today the youngest grandchild will be 5 in September and they all know their Gigi. Just to add a little extra spice to my list of health issues (Which I had almost none before diagnosis) I was diagnosed with stage 0 melanoma on my ear and needed an extensive skin graft that was about as bad as the debulking hysterectomy! Hopefully I’ve left the melanoma behind and ironically one of the medications I’m on now is also a treatment for melanoma. My faith in God keeps me going and my husband of almost 45 years is along for this roller coaster of a ride and is a great support. When I think about the thing that I know has been very impactful and keep me going allowing my body to take this onslaught of treatments, it’s my daily walks. I usually walk 2 1/2 – 3 miles a day. It’s not just about the walks making my body stronger, it’s also about being outside and getting fresh air and sunshine. Sometimes after a rough treatment my pace may be VERY slow but I’m walking. I’ve also noticed I enjoy people watching—it reminds me that life goes on and even though I may be fatigued I’m still a part of this crazy world and for that I am very grateful.